Showing posts with label rude people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rude people. Show all posts

Friday, June 17, 2016

Friday Contemplations - Commodities or Laziness?

I consider myself old fashioned and a traditionalist.  I very much value the importance of nesting and I love my home. I find great pleasure in decorating, cooking and making my house feel cozy and comfortable for me and for the people I love. I also would rather make something myself than go out and buy custom made from someone else. It's not because of the money, it's because I believe an object is of greater value if it is made with love. I am not a chef, I am not a designer or a seamstress, I am not an interior decorator, but what I do know how to do very well is put passion and love into the things I do. I am Willing to learn and it saddens me when I see others act entitled and lazy and don't have the desire to learn.  People today are just so used to buying, buying, buying everything and once they're done with it just chuck it out and buy a new one. I'll buy it...I'll buy it...they say.

Learn how to make something! Don't be afraid of a drill or a hammer, learn how to use it! You want a piece of pie? Roll up your sleeves and get out a cook book ...  It's not that hard. And if it doesn't turn out right the first time, next time it'll turn out better!

It just frustrates me so.. I feel like everything has just gotten so easy and there is a general lack of contentment with life and the resources we have available to us.  When I think back on what our ancestors used to do...rigorously by hand... I feel like such a spoiled little shit.

My Italian grandmother had 10 children and she made her own mattresses for all 10 children every year (as did most Italian families in the early 20th century). Do you have any idea how difficult it is to make a mattress by hand...with sheep wool...and then beat it with a stick to make it more comfortable? And having to do this for households with 10 or more people?

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Or washing mountains of clothes by hand.... and yet I complain about not having a dryer! Yes, you read that correctly.....I do NOT have a dryer... however I am seriously trying to negotiate with my sweetheart on this one...

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Or make bread kneaded by hand at the crack of dawn and baked in a wood burning stove EVERY MORNING...talk about a work out!


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By the way, no bread compares or will ever compare to sourdough bread that is baked in a wood burning stove...

Since then, we have made such tremendous progress and even the average middle class family can have access to every day commodities that these women pictured above could never even fathom possible. But yet they continued on with their every day, strenuous chores and were able to make the most beautiful things by putting so much passion and love in everything they made.  Today when we look at a hand made linen tablecloth, it doesn't have the same value as it did back then. Why? Because most people, especially the younger generation don't realize the effort that was put into that simple hand made tablecloth. They don't realize exactly the quality and value of the fabric and why it is so precious. 

If I have children one day, I want to make sure that they value all that is around them and they put the same passion in all that they do as I do. 

I get so annoyed with spoiled  and arrogant people.  They get under my skin so much that it makes me batty. 

To those people I say: be thankful for what you have, but most of all be proactive, be resourceful and thrifty.  Thrifty doesn't mean cheap either. There are so many resources available today to be able to learn new things it's astonishing. The World Wide Web is packed with anything and everything you could possibly need and more and for that I am so grateful. I Google everything LOL...Surely I exaggerate at times but I feel a sense of security knowing that at the click of a mouse I can find out whatever I want. It's there for me. 

Think for a moment at the immigrants traveling on the boat to America with their families. They left all they had and spent their life savings to jump on a boat and cross the Atlantic Ocean not knowing where they were going, how long it would take them to arrive, how much food to bring, what clothes to wear, what to do if their children got sick in the middle of the Ocean, no one to call, no navigator, no Coast Guard to help them if anything happened, you get the point... Oh the COURAGE to do something like that!  

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This photo above is a picture of an Italian immigrant family arriving in Ellis Island, New York.  The mother in the photo looks so old yet she's probably in her early 40's. They had the courage to make that journey for the future of their families. Without our ancestors who made everything by hand, woke up at the ass crack of dawn to prepare for the day, work hard and put food on the table, we wouldn't have all the commodities that we have today. 

For this I am grateful.


Have a great weekend my dear friends...and make something spectacular!

xoxo

Silvana


Thursday, October 22, 2015

Nosy People

I guess this is my Friday contemplation post but I felt like publishing it today. The thing that gets on my nerves more than anything is nosy people. The people who don't mind their own business and want to know everything about you without having any type of right in knowing. Those nosy questions get on my nerves so much because I am a very private person and if I don't say something in the first place that means I don't want you to know... simple.

Some people are just over the top nosy and it is really annoying and rude to me. In Italy especially in the south this nosiness is quite customary. Don't get me wrong everyone is very kind and generous but sometimes they just want to know about all the little details of your life and I find it strange because I couldn't care less about the details of their life so I don't understand what the big deal is with my life... you know? I mean it's not that I don't care, I just respect their privacy.

Everyone has a story and everyone makes the choices they make for their own personal reasons. Unless I'm paying you for therapy I really don't care for your opinion on my life choices thank you very much... I'm 33 years old I think I'm capable of living my own life.


So I don't want this post to be just about me venting about rude people who don't mind their own business but to all those people who feel the same as me, here are some helpful tips to avoid nosy questions.

  • Let the person know that you feel uncomfortable answering certain questions. Some people may not realize that an innocent question is too personal so just graciously let them know that you feel invaded. Most people will appreciate your honesty and respect your privacy.

  • Shift the focus. If you find people starting a conversation that you see going in the direction that you don't want it to go, start talking about something else and change the subject. They'll get the hint...

  • Don't feel like you have to cave in just to be polite. They're not being very polite by asking you personal questions so don't feel "bullied" into answering them. Simply say you're in a rush and leave it at that.

  • Give vague responses. Beat around the bush or give "politician responses". Answer the question indirectly, for example when someone asks how much money you make. Answer something like, "money is not very important to me" or talk about the economy or job market or be funny and answer "enough to pay my taxes!".

  • If someone asks you about your relationship status and you don't feel like talking about it ... "it's complicated" and leave it at that.

  • Another tip is not to lie to the person asking questions just simply answer in a way that makes them understand that you don't feel like talking about certain things, or respond saying "I'll let you know" or "I'm not sure", etc.
People love to gossip. Magazines and paparazzi make loads of money off the lives of other people and if you think about it, it is rather pathetic and depressing. I even enjoy reading a gossip magazine from time to time when I'm waiting to get my hair done at the hairdresser but I'm never one to pry in the lives of people that I meet or work colleagues because a) it really doesn't interest me and b) I don't think it's polite.

I think that if someone wants to share personal information with me, they will tell me directly without me prying into their lives. If I trust someone I will open up to them eventually but the more I see someone wanting to know about my business, the more I turn the other way.

I found this article very interesting from the MannersMentor website:

"The word because is powerful. It can act as its own complete explanation. No one is quite sure why, but social experiments have proven it true. It probably goes back to the days of our childhood when mom or dad’s answer to our question “Why?” was simply “Because.”

There was a study that involved having a young lady ask the person waiting in line to use the copier at a large public library if she could please go ahead of him or her in line. When she asked if she could cut in front and gave no explanation, only 60% of the people let her go before them.

When she added a reason to her request (“My class starts in ten minutes and I have to have these papers to complete my assignment”), more than 90% said, “Sure, go ahead.”

Here’s where it gets interesting. When she asked to go ahead of others and gave this reason: “May I please step in front of you because I need to make some copies?”, more than 90% of the people also said, “Yes.” Her only reason was “because,” which really isn’t a reason at all. This tidbit is useful to remember anytime we’re pressed by someone for additional information. Take for instance a coworker asking, “No really, why are you taking next Thursday off?” You could answer, “I’m taking a personal day, because I need the day off.” Or, when asked why you’re not going to a party, you could say, “Because I’m not able to attend.” Again, just keep in mind your tone of voice. It’s also OK to simply say, “I’d rather not say” or, “That’s private,” especially if you believe the person is trying to intimidate you with his or her question. "

 
What do you guys think about this topic?



Friday, September 25, 2015

Friday Contemplations

First Contemplation: Mean people suck – and so do rude people!
 
This morning as I was driving to work I get a phone call from a coworker that was just so rude. No please, no thank you…just demanding. I understand that people can be stressed out and I’m the first one that knows everybody has life issues, but that doesn’t give you the right to not say please or thank you.
 
And when you see someone you know and they don’t say hi….ugh! Like, you don’t have to have a conversation with the person….just say hi. Is that so difficult to do? I just don’t understand it. I was raised in a family where manners were the most important thing. If I didn’t say please or thank you I wasn’t getting ANYTHING I asked for. I couldn’t leave the dinner table until I asked my parents “May I please be excused?”.  So whenever I meet a rude or arrogant person they just get under my skin so much!
 
To me one of the biggest insults someone could say to me is that I am rude. I always try to go out of my way to make people feel comfortable and appreciated when they’re around me…I just don’t understand why other people don’t do the same.
 
Don’t you hate it when you walk into a store and no one comes to help you? Now I usually like to look at things by myself when I’m shopping but sometimes when I need help and I ask the sales person and they start acting rude I usually just say never mind and leave.  Maybe they hate their job, I don’t know, but that attitude is not getting you anywhere that’s for sure!

This is my absolute favorite part of the movie.
          
Second Contemplation: Body Image

I have a very big problem with how the media portrays woman. I have always struggled with weight loss and eating healthy and counting calories and it’s just exhausting! I’m not in any way obese but somehow we never feel like we’re skinny enough, tall enough, pretty enough as so on.

And I’ve realized that it’s not how men see us at all! As with most Monday mornings, I’ll wake up look at myself in the mirror and say ok today I’m going to start dieting because I look fat and my other half starts saying here we go again…you are beautiful just the way you are….I don’t want a toothpick next to me….you don’t need to lose weight…blah blah blah but I just never believe it. Why you ask? Because every time I turn on the TV or flip through a Cosmopolitan or Vogue magazine I see these images of women that are over the top perfection and then I look at myself and think… “wow I’m a hot mess!”

I know that no one looks like that in real life…I know all of those images are photo shopped and that half those women have had something done to themselves but nonetheless, we still feel the need and desire to reach perfection. I get so frustrated when I see 15 year old girls dressed up in high heels with wayyyy too much makeup acting like America’s next top model. Enjoy your youth, there’s plenty of time to be a grown up. And it’s not their fault either…it’s the media.
 

This picture I think really portrays what I'm trying to say.

Women should feel fabulous no matter what size, shape or color. And men should be more sensitive to making their woman feel like the queen that she is. My favorite line in Sex and the City by Carrie is this:
 
"The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship is the one you have with yourself. And if you find the one that loves the you that you love...well that's just fabulous!"
 
 
Have a spectacular weekend!!